Save the Spanish

So, let's talk about my English-speaking friends: One friend in Galveston told me that he doesn't check my blog anymore, because I use too much Spanish. Can't read it, he said. Another was a little more inquisitive, a little more willing to do some work. Asked me how she could learn Spanish, I recommended Babelfish, the Altavista translator. At least, that way bad translations of most languages of the world are a click away. Then, this week, a new pal told me to "save the spanish." Meaning leave it out, no lo uses, sácalo pues.

Pero a pesar de estos comentarios, voy a seguir escribiendo en cualquier idioma que se me dé la gana. Even if just to mess with the English speak-easy folks. How interesting none of the Spanish-speakers have complained about the English yet. But no, all the Spanish-speakers I know already speak English or want to very very very badly.

Moorishgirl writes in an article in the Boston Review about native speakers of one language making the decision to write in another. The list of writers who switch languages is most compelling, as well as the conclusions drawn from their decisions:

Joseph Conrad, for instance, did not write in Polish, his mother tongue; instead, and after 20 years of world travel, he settled in England and embraced its language in his work. Milan Kundera chose French rather than Czech for his later books because he wanted to free himself of expectations and censorship. Elias Canetti, whose native language is Ladino, opted for German, though he lived most of his life in England and Switzerland. But for others, the decision to give up their mother tongue was not a choice at all. It was the inescapable result of colonial education—witness, for example, the vast literature in French that came out of Africa in the wake of France’s century of hegemony: Assia Djebbar, Tahar Ben Jelloun, Camara Laye, and Léopold Sedar Senghor, to name just a handful.

What is striking about these shifting linguistic allegiances is that they tend to favor the language that is culturally dominant on the international scene.

My point exactly. While there is a long tradition of writers shirking their less-dominant mothertongues to use another more-dominant language, I cannot locate a similar tradition that would operate in reverse. English speaking writers deciding to write in Spanish being the most obvious example. But Russians who switch to Kazakh, Germans who switch to Turkish, French who switch to Arabic, Spanish-speaking Peruvians who switch to Quechua, the list could grow further. Does anyone know of cases like this that escape me? Me fascina la posibilidad de cambiar de idiomas, como ya sabrán ustedes.

In an interesting endnote, a conversation with Jen Hofer in Tijuana this summer on this very subject has kept me thinking. As I understood her point: Writing in Spanish for a native English speaker is very difficult: instead of knowing ten ways to express something in English, knowing only six in Spanish. And then the big questions: Is it a colonial move for a speaker of a dominant language to take over a less-powerful one? To move into it and claim it? Is it a form of imperialism? The benefits of "moving up" the language food chain are obvious, but the politics of it are messy. Accusations of selling out or of not being true to your roots or your people. But what would be the benefits of "moving down" (even the term is ugly and locked in an imperialist way of thought)? Is switching down an imperialist move? A way to exoticize oneself? A cop-out pues?

Don't know myself, but I do know having the questions in my head has propelled me towards imagining a liberatory practice of translation, rather than trying to dissappear into another tongue. Pero seguiré escribiendo en español aunque, claro, no voy a salvar el idioma. Because the little misunderstandings que brotan when the languages trip over each other, los valoro tanto tanto.

Después de una noche de parranda jiustoniana

Porque a veces. Si digo esto, lo mato.

No quiero oír lo que dices.

Más vale oír lo que se dice.

Nueva poesía chicana

Si les interesa leer palabras de una nueva generación de poetas chicanas, pues les recomiendo el blog de Emmy Pérez una poeta en El Paso. Me gustan sus frases cortas, her sense and non-sense, como se atreve a decir cosas nuevas de una manera fresca, como todo lo contrario de esta nueva bacteria en la espinaca, la bacteria terrorista.

Monolingual inglish speakantes, follow link arribove to find poemía de Emmy Perez, a muy chingona Chicana poet. Short frases, sentido y sin sentido, how she dares to de-say new things in fresh salad ways.

Sorry, ¿el blog se ha puesto bien cursi, verdad? You can tell me to stop writing so cheesy, but if you like it, tell me more queso por please. Gotta go, unraveling now. Ups.

Gargling Words

So busy these days reading the books they tell me to read, writing the papers they tell me to write. But still, steal time to make a way out of that order, into something hopefully better. Reading Absalom! Absalom! and Go Down, Moses and and post-colonial (better called post-anti-colonial) takes on his work. Estas palabras se me salieron, these words just saved themselves on the page:


you already know right? no glory in the conquest. pathologically raveling out. not our job to stop (them). echoes of nostalgic rock the room the body quakes. an aristocracy of weary gestures merits no tirade. as if furious moaning over dolls. the only dispossession my own timidity. no need to speak no one. should anyone? then no hands no strings. worlds of historical trampsing. no time to scream the bayou lords over and only gargling words just below the surface.

Chicken hanging from tree

So people make all kinds of funnystrange searches on Google that lead them to Bad Texas:

bad texas facts
tom of finland
jenny donovan tijuana
antarctica of montreal
history of telephone road
aprehendido
become a jp
chicken hanging from a tree
comidas tipicas de german bush
lidia mendoza

I think I need to have more porn words in my blog. So all those horny internet jack off stars end up here. Then frustrated limp and upset.

El espejo

Bueno, me gustó mucho esta crónica sobre las escenas de protesta y de plantones en el D.F. de un compañero del Lab en Tijuana. Léenla. Está muy bien hecha y escrita - una manera literaria y inteligente de acercarse al conflicto tan complicado que se vive en México ahora - no de tomar un lado y defenderlo sino de tratar de entender la situación y representarla a un nivel profundo. Un espejo.

Traté de encontrar la palabra en inglés, "rant". Encontré "vociferar, despotricar" como verbo y "discurso rimbombante" como sustantivo. Esto es lo que no me convence en este momento. En algunos blogs del Norte, hay escritores que tienen como su misión ahorita militar en contra de AMLO. Aunque me ha gustado Las Alas del Alacrán antes, ahora me tiene frustrado por sus rants.


Disculpen los errores de ortografía y de gramática. Mi español es pésimo. Pero pues, ni modo.

Out of egotism

Susan Sontag on writing, from her journal (a part of which is on line here):

Writing
. It’s corrupting to write with the intent to moralize, to elevate people’s moral standards.

Nothing prevents me from being a writer except laziness. A good writer.

Why is writing important? Mainly, out of egotism, I suppose. Because I want to be that persona, a writer, and not because there is something I must say. Yet why not that too? With a little ego-building — such as the fait accompli this journal provides — I shall win through to the confidence that I (I) have something to say, that should be said.

My “I” is puny, cautious, too sane. Good writers are roaring egotists, even to the point of fatuity. Sane men, critics, correct them — but their sanity is parasitic on the creative fatuity of genius.

And later:

Being queer makes me feel more vulnerable.

Or maybe:

The writer must be four people:

1) the nut, the obsédee
2) the moron
3) the stylist
4) the critic

1) supplies the material
2) lets it come out
3) is taste
4) is intelligence

a great writer has all 4 — but you can still be a good writer with only 1) and 2); they’re most important.

Or then, this one:

The fear of becoming old is born of the recognition that one is not living now the life that one wishes. It is equivalent to a sense

of abusing the present.

Ataque homofobico en nuestra contra

Agreden a jóvenes gays en Zona Rosa
La noche del sábado pasado, tres jóvenes gays fueron agredidos y uno de ellos golpeado en Zona Rosa por órdenes de un alto funcionario de la SSP del DF. Entre las víctimas, el director fundador de Anodis y el escritor Sergio Téllez-Pon.
por Redacción Anodis

Tres jóvenes gays fueron agredidos la noche del pasado sábado 2 de septiembre en la Zona Rosa de la Ciudad de México. Víctor Espíndola y Sergio Téllez-Pon, director-fundador y colaborador de la Agencia de Noticias sobre Diversidad Sexual ( Anodis.com), respectivamente, fueron víctimas de la violencia al ser "confundidos" con sexo servidores, durante un operativo que pretendía "terminar con la prostitución ejercida en los alrededores".

De acuerdo con declaraciones de Téllez-Pon, los hechos ocurrieron alrededor de las 11:30. Se encontraba caminando con Víctor Espíndola y Oscar Mendez sobre Paseo de la Reforma; a la altura de Río de la Plata cruzaron el plantón y llegaron a la calle de Hamburgo, en la que dieron vuelta ala izquierda. A en ese tramo escucharon "A ver pinches putos, deténganse ahí", palabras que como explican las víctimas, antecedieron el ataque.

Entre los presuntos agresores, quienes viajaban en dos automóviles —cuatro en cada vehículo—, uno oscuro y el otro de color rojo con las placas 765 TUU, se encuentra un alto funcionario de la Secretaría de Seguridad Pública del DF quien ordeno el ataque. Uno de los agresores empujó a Téllez-Pon y posteriormente pateó en espalda, torso y pecho.

Para leer el resto de este artículo en el blog de Sergio Téllez-Pon, haz click aquí

Cuz dialogue.

A tentative response to Batahola’s post on 8.29.06 ("You all want to come here.") that has me gripped, in the vice:

Trying not to do the same old tired. Not to fail. How to think: this that place, buying indigenous languages on the white white sand, why we cross this line (why cuts just north of your city instead of a few hundred miles north of mine), how to be open when we stepped on your collective foot, get off my foot you said. Looted the cigar store, robbed all the shells from the beach, stole the plastic bottles and the wrappers little ones dropped on the street. To purchase sand and lay trailers on cliff sides, ranches where tumbled weed, organic wine is sacred now. Bribed the police for minor infractions, buzzed through no customs agents, brought home to mantelpieces to museums toasting to your beauty, your pristineness. The escape alludes constantly still, we want more always.

Sold you for cheap, bottom dollar prices, unbelievable buys and investment opportunities. Websites dedicated to your sand, your low wages, your literary prowess. Used resorts beaches tequila las putas del sur a long line of frat boys to get into your living room. All of it, and so cheap, all our friends on planes to your parties jail cells street parades cemeteries peaceful horizons palms and limping graygreen dogs. Where’s the best beach but I don’t want any goddamn Wal-Mart. Don’t want to seem touristy. Gotta be different. And how.

Marxists say capitalist rapings will go on all the time. Invasion reverses Fox programming, Mike said. Anger is real. Yours. Frustration is understandable. Rage is rational. 500 years of. Just new again. The next: through Costco aisles, march across the sun-baked Sam’s Club parking lot, hasta llegar a la ciudad, hasta llegar al centro. Say, all those spring breakers, generations of gamblers and womanizers. Protect the kids, we’re coming. I repeat what you said as if no implication’s implied. Repito lo que dijiste como si no hubiera culpabilidad ninguna.

But. There is. Like what’s above: a prelude to a wider opening. Just guilt trips are not as much fun as the beach. And no more necessary. Elena told me guilt motivates her. Never knew the face could contort to smile and cringe at the same time. See, the same philosophical dilemmas. Knowing philosophy drives you. We could have had so much in common. But never it seems.

So over repeating the same old tired tirades. Balance evades capture.

Not buying it. Not buying: stay home all good. What I don’t know is what I am. And knowing there’s nothing to find there. To help, in the end, you can’t go home. Can’t go where you cried the first time, to the blocks around the hospital room. No fit there, more natural. Always eternally cast adrift. Unknown and unknowing. A sentence with no subject no verb no object. A lack. And always the movement around.

Not like erasing. Visits produce knowledge. What’s critical is what happens after. Maybe like spying is the only way we have to begin. Any of you or us that is.

3:15 Experiment

Participated in the 3:15 Experiment this past month of August. Woke up at 3:15am on about ten of the days of the month (even though I was supposed to wake up all the days) and wrote. Alarms going off at 3:15am, some days I dragged myself up to write, some days I just couldn't. But been real happy with the results, with the discipline. With how the shortstoetryprosepoemnotapoems worked out. Now that the month is over, I want to share. And I couldn't during the month (against the guidelines to re-read during the month). All the texts should be published on the 3:15 Experiment site sometime soon. And more info and texts from past years are there now. They're sposed to be raw, just so you know. So here goes.

8/12 - 3:15am

one has to learn to be naked, she said. laughing responded. this city has become my hacking. meander on all too well known pathways. turn left here or there. never make that light. never. always a shred too late. been here since darkness. since the parade. since clipboards and good intentions. since genealogy and midnight uproot. didn’t write poems then. don’t.

interrupt to break the map. new lines on an old chaos. a corner never seen, an old peeling two story with a cyclone fence. never saw you, never saw the sign. machine repair. newness invades. the well tread leads. the rest, lost to touch. always missing. one step off. forgot knowing everything about a place never happens. the city laughed. she.

hacking in dryness, inside space. outside damp heavy pots curbs balconies we all glisten. this body revolts. never knew hurt like this. can’t breathe here. no future, only past. no walking after 3am, no sunrises or mountains. just blinds curtains stoplights measured flow tupperware to be washed.

if only hacking cities were enough. if only naked again could.